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• 2. Communicate your feelings correctly

Expressing words of appreciation and pride can often be difficult because we make ourselves „smaller“ and tend to emphasize the other person more. However, compliments can change my attitude, my perspective and my feelings as well as simply doing me and the person to whom I am showing my appreciation a favor. 

Feelings of accusation and anger also need to be brought to the table at the right time so that the causes can be explained and, at best, resolved. If someone just bottles up their emotions without being able to talk about them in a good and healing way, it is difficult to find healing. Only things that are disclosed and talked about can make the other person think about them and understand why I am reacting this way and not that way. If things that disturb or even hurt you can be addressed and discussed, a healthy relationship can develop and exist.

• 3. Be aware that each individual is enormously valuable

Seeing the value of a person and keeping this in mind while having a serious – perhaps even stressful – conversation is essential. If I am aware of my counterpart’s value, I talk to him/her with the basic attitude that I accept him/her and consider him/her valuable. This then results in me wanting to help this person, however that may look. Every person is valuable, because everyone is created in God’s image and therefore has a certain dignity. We are the crowning glory of creation.

• 4. Do you assume that your counterpart might know more than you do?

With regard to this attitude, it quickly becomes clear that this is often not so simple. Nevertheless, I say this for a specific reason, because if I assume that the other person might know more than I do, then I not only hear the person, but I am also willing to understand what is meant. I accept what is said and think about it much more, because there is the possibility of learning from it – for myself and my future.

• 5. speak less. mean more.

Oftentimes we use a lot of words to get rid of everything that’s on our minds. But this doesn’t always make sense and is even less likely to be heard and understood. We are quick to say things that we immediately regret, simply because we speak too quickly and haven’t really thought things through. If we take care to speak less and instead mean more exactly the way we say it, we may find ourselves more likely to be understood… because we mean what we say exactly the way we say it. Many things can be formulated in simpler but more profound expressions and sentences. This also reduces the risk of repeating yourself or going from the hundredth to the thousandth thing. 

So, mean what you say & say what you mean.